Productivity For Parents #3
Last week I provided you all with a worksheet to help you imagine a compelling future vision for yourself as a parent, focusing on the positive impact you want to have on your child’s life.
An inviting and irresistible vision of your future outcome is absolutely key to being successful with any progress towards a goal that will require some degree of discomfort to achieve. And let’s face it, all change requires some comfort. Sacrificing comfort is necessary to achieve goals. This beautiful vision will be the wind at your back, and will pull you through the most difficult parts of change. Print it out and put it somewhere you can see it, or make it a note on your phone so you can pull it up anytime you need inspiration.
Next week I’m going to introduce Asana and how I use that app to implement the system outlined in the book “The twelve week year” to manage progress toward my goals, but before I get there, I want to talk first with you about the emotional process we all go through when we try to implement change of any kind.
There are several emotional stages to change, as outlined by Don Kelley and Daryl Connor in a paper entitled “The Emotional Cycle of Change”.
Phase 1: Uninformed optimism - this is what you feel when you’re psyched about a new idea. You just signed up for a class or a new yoga studio and can’t wait to get started.
Phase 2: Informed pessimism - this is when reality slaps you in the face. You may enjoy a honeymoon period, or this may come quickly after your initial high of excitement, but sooner or later you’re going to realize this new plan isn’t all fun and joy, it’s also requiring some sacrifice and hard work and unenjoyable aspects. You know the phrase, “it’s always darkest before the dawn”? Well, it’s dark and getting darker.
Phase 3: Valley of despair - At this point, the downsides are undeniable. You are not having fun. You are full of doubt because you’re working as hard as you can, not seeing any success, and it will be very tempting to either complain loudly to everyone who will listen about your situation, or just quietly resign yourself to giving up and going back to the easier way things were before while you await some new exciting (and presumably better) plan. But this stage is where your commitment becomes key. This is also why you need a partner or group to hold yourself accountable. This is the nadir. From here, all the good things happen, so it’s critical you look to your compelling vision of what lies on the other side and push through.
Phase 4: Informed optimism - at this point, you’ve hit a stride, the painful parts are less painful than they were and you’re beginning to see some positive results. You’re starting to believe maybe you can enact your vision. You’ve stuck with your plan, and is it your imagination, or is the sky starting to get a bit lighter? You start to feel like the downsides and pain of your change commitment are a little more bearable. Your energy returns. You still may not have any great results, but your accountability partners are having some and you can feel hope returning to your spirit.
Phase 5: Success and Fulfillment - congratulations, you’ve achieved your vision, all the hard work, failure, learning, and perseverance were worth it. Now it’s time to set a new goal!
Here’s link to the visuals.
